I don't know...

If I'm so smart, then why am I always making such incredibly stupid mistakes. There must be a difference between being intelligent and not being a fool. Gawd, I look back and anyone would say, "your stuipd score is pretty darn high!"

In the end, I must just love myself. Each step along the way, I thought I was doing the right thing. I've always been idealistic and I've never approached anything half-heartedly. Whatever thing I tried, I gave it my all. And perhaps because I engaged in such huge efforts, I made huge mistakes. By making the incredibly large mistakes, I've often come to the heart of the matter and been able to free myself much more quickly from the stupid/bad/radioactive nature of the situation than someone taking a half-hearted stab at it. I've lived my life so far in such a way that I have hurt myself badly and consequently learned quickly. The bigger and hotter the burner on the stove, the deeper the lesson becomes ingrained about not sticking one's hand back on it.